15. Nov, 2021

Failure

Failure 
    I discovered the other day an app that would play back the atmosphere and sounds of a coffee shop. Ideal for me in my solitary room writing away. The sounds made me feel a part of something social. 
When you spend long periods of your day with a keypad it can often feel that the world is empty. This feeling of isolation can take grip and it is easy to find yourself checking out the spam emails when those responses you are waiting for fail to materialize.
Failure infects us all. A virus that is so contagious that no one is immune,even those who have tasted success.
We all fail, but failure does not exist, it is a state of mine or an attitude. Those who get straight back up knowing that the next failure could be days away are the ones that eventually find something that works. 
Time to be real, success is also all in the mind. We can all look back, chaftife ourselves for hundreds of poor decisions. Choices that have hurt others, reactions that on reflection should have been different. But why look back, it spoils a good moment and can lead to drifting backwards pulled by the current of emotion.
I love my coffee shop, genius whoever thought about it, perhaps we could have football crowd banter, or even supermarket que chatter ? All on tap. In this ever growing widely connected planet it is easy to look for reassurance, praise and acknowledgement that never comes.
We all need to feel wanted, loved and most importantly forgiven. A normal conversation is a joy when no judgement is given or taken. 
So failure is a part of us, a piece of mortality that is hard to take. 
But then again I only learn when I fail. If only I could learn to forgive myself ! Failure would become useful.